Debate Prep

There's a new genre of Freeper post I'm really digging: giving Romney some debate advice. I know I touched on this recently, but this is too awesome and horrible to leave on the table.

jersey117 explains that constant interruption worked so well for Newt in the primaries, so it's gotta play well in the general!

Romney is going to have to cut in and defend himself. Even if his 60 seconds are up. He has to use Newt’s tactic and call the moderators out on their bias right then and there.

dartuser thinks Romney should just make up his own questions:

Since the media will ask the wrong questions, to distract attention from zeroing in on The One's failures, what Romney should do is rephrase the questions to highlight the issue in the mind of the American people.

"Jim, that is not really the relevant question because. ... the more revelant question is. ..

Loud Mime advises saying "Constitution" like 500 times:

How about: "I believe in our Constitution. This means that I will honor my oath to preserve, protect and defend the Constitution from all enemies, foreign and domestic. I will honor the Constitution's intent by charging the Legislature with proposing laws, instead of avoiding the constitutional process by using executive orders. As the Constitution orders the President to "take care that the laws be faithfully executed," I will hold the Department of Justice responsible for enforcing the law, not changing it. I will be a president who honors the Constitution, the liberty it gives us, and the spirit of independence that fostered this great nation of ours."

ShovelThemOut thinks a Reagan Reference will solve everything!

I hope Romney has the ‘kihones’ to take the gloves off during the debates and say THERE YOU GO AGAIN! It would bring the house down. And the press would cry foul, but it would be a thumb in eye to Zero. And it would get traction, and people would start to repeat it. And if the lame-stream wants to cry GAFFE then it would just give it more attention, and just like the Cairo GAFFE, people would see it for the truth.

everyone MissMagnolia knows hates Obama, so Romney is gonna do just great:

Romney had plenty of time 'under fire' during the primary debates. Obozo's head is so large with the importance of his own Obamaness, I don't think he'll be able to resist his lecturing, preachy mode ... he won't be able to hide his ego and arrogance.
Personally, I find the guy offensive ... nobody in our family can stand to watch him. An uncle (ex-Navy pilot) has taken to screaming at the TV and making suggestions that include a trip to DC that I won't repeat here, to the extent that his wife is seriously worried about his health. This is the effect Obozo is having on non-liberal-diseased brains so if Romney looks calm, collected, shows leadership and can explain himself well, I think he'll do just great

RavenLooneyToon is the champion of this genre. Here he reposts his "ultimate warrior" bit, which I have added here, unexerpted for your pleasure:

The first debate has to be the turning point.
Mittens must turn into an ultimate warrior.
Mitt needs to ignore the moderators’ questions and march to his own drummer.
Examples:

Q: Are you concerned that your gaffe about criticizing the President of the United States of America’s Mid-East policies caused the rape and murder of US citizens abroad may make you an accessory to murder?”

A: The Mid East policy of the unknown person who has gained control of both the Presidency and the Media is to unite the moon worshiping inhabitants under the banner of the Muslim Brotherhood which was spawned eighty years ago by none other than Adolph Hitler.
Obama is a fraud and is the enemy of the Constitution and plans to make all Americans either subservient to his evil god or dead. Either way it does not matter to scum such as this impostor that now threatens all that is good and decent in the world.
The current regime has declared war on freedom, on free enterprise, and on freedom of thoughts and expression. The only thing that Obama and his evil minions, and I do not exclude the moderator, have accomplished in the last few years is to prove that Freedom is fragile.
WE THE PEOPLE must unite to stop this vile creature from dowsing the last lamp of freedom on the planet.
This is the moment in history, that YOU decide the fate of your children and grandchildren.
America has two centuries of being an exceptional role model of freedom and advancement of all that is good and decent, because when the time of defending our inalienable rights from attack, our ancestors have stood shoulder to shoulder to squash the enemy of good. The enemy of justice. The enemy of opportunity. The enemy of freedom.
My fellow Americans, now is the time to stand up and be counted. The time is NOW to throw out this regime and to right the wrongs of their demented plans.

Q: You keep telling us that you can decrease the rate of unemployment but you have refused to say just how you plan to accomplish this feat. Could you explain?

A: The details are very simple. The current regime has done everything in it’s power to strip this county of opportunities to get a job or to create a business. In the minds of these people, the only way to get votes and stay in power is to remove the ability for persons to be independent. To remove the freedom that is the natural by product of self suffiency. To coerce and force the down trodden to vote for evil so as to be fed. Blackmail them to vote for self imprisonment so as to be roofed. In the America that I know, a person has the right and opportunity to push free enterprise so as to provide jobs and opportunities. In the America I know, a person has the ethical responsibility to support a family and provide for their futures, they have a moral responsibility to help their neighbors and friends who need support until they can progress into a position of self reliance. In the America I know, there is no obligation whatsoever to work so as to support people who won’t work. There is no obligation to work to support persons who simply stroll into the country, never intending to become an American, their only intent is to take the money of those who work to support their spouses and children, and themselves. Redistribution of wealth is simply another way spell the word THEFT. If you want a booming economy, all that has to be done is put a stop to the massive theft of the working man that this unknown person who has stolen the oval office has orchestrated.

It’s very simple. Undo the things that undo jobs. Undo the Obama Regime and you will have jobs. Like any solution it all boils down to cause and effect.
The cause is having a communist anti American in the white house and the effect is a lack of prosperity, lack of security, and the lack of a future.
We must unite to cleanse the plague that is Obama. This is your moment in history to decide if your children and grandchildren will live in a world of darkness and slavery to a few masters or live in a world of freedom and opportunity that is the American Way. Help me shine the burning light of self reliance and self respect into the dark corridors of the white house so as the cock roaches will scurry away back to the sewers from whence the came.
Together we will stand, together, right is might, together we will drink the cup of victory filled to the brim with the sweet elixir that is freedom and opportunity.

But RavenLooneyToon isn't done. He follows up by advising Romney to enlist a parade of strawmen!

the key to public debate is to paint a very thick line of contrast between yourself and the opponent.
Example:

I promise I will never apologize for the right of Americans to exercise free speech, free thoughts, and free expressions.

I promise I will never refer to The Constitution of The United States of America as being outdated, or make claims that the Law of The Land is an ever changing living document and I think that those who do, should find some place else to live.

I promise that should an American be harmed by a terrorist that I will hold the country that allowed the act responsible and accountable and that the consequences will be harsh and punitive with extreme prejudice.

I promise you that I ask you to vote for me, and will never FORCE you to vote for me by removing chances of emplopyemnt, opportunities of free Enterprise and self reliance.

I promise that the stars and stripes make up the flag that I love, and would never replace it with a crayon mockery of Democracy.

I promise to avenge the attack on our freedom, to persecute those that would remove our law of the land, and to remove those that oppose our free republic

Irenic adds this relevancy:

Has anyone else noticed that Romney actually looks younger and healthier than Obama? I had not really paid attention but my mother said something and so I started to pay attention— I think she’s right.

Bon mots is not optimistic, on accounta the evil media:

Romney: "The economy is terrible. The deficit is too big."
Obama: "I've been to all 57 er... states including OIHO and well, the film-makers acted stupidly - Allah's prophet must not be insulted, um... what's an economy?"

NBC, MSNBC, CBS, ABC, CNN, BBC, REUTERS, NY TIMES... etc:
"ROMNEY GAFFE!"

Gotta say, I agree with Batman11:

I would advise R&R to tell the State Run Media that they are not showing up to their Obama butt-kissing, dog and pony show, unless Mark Levin and/or Rush are also moderators. I don’t care if they don’t like it, they are our enemy. It would be a great opportunity to let the voting public know that they are not putting up with this crap anymore and expose the SRM for what the are. (Tass and Pravda rolled into one!) I don’t care if they have to broadcast 2 hours of Obama playing with himself. Do not let them set the agenda and frame these debates. They attempt, and succeed, at damaging our candidates every day. It is insanity to cowtow to them and let them damage our candidates to their faces! This is all a big fing set up!! Obama will have all the questions in advance! Tell the SRM to add conservative moderators, or to go pound sand!! This media bullshit needs to end!!

*ACES*