RIP Uncle Slayton

Alas, Uncle Slayton was zotted on November 1st.

Here are some of his more recent hits I've gathered:

Taking a hard line on early voting:

Early voting is the biggest threat to our nation and the Republican Party.

Measures beyond Voter ID and abolishing Early Voting must be taken to included US Passport required to vote, law enforcement officers at all polling stations, Criminal Background checks at all polling stations and repeal of the Voting Rights Act(s).

The trauma of lesbianism:

The picture of the two women kissing is shocking and utterly horrendous, I imagine that even more devastating for those who had to witness it on a public street and a Pro Family event.

I hope they will all be alright and the damage not lasting.

His own special birther conspiracy:

Maybe, somewhere along the way, in Indonesia, Kenya or Moscow there was a body switch where Davis and Russian agents neutralized the chunky Obama and replaced him with a kidnapped skinny Obama who was more receptive to KGB Programming.

That leaves just two questions, who is this Obama and from where was he taken and what happened to the original?

on Romney's humility:

when Mitt Romney is inaugurated in January, he will not have the arrogance of Obama and will not likely attempt to push his agenda through Congress.

His shock at the latest homosexual industry:

Who would have ever thought we would see the day when travel agents were gay?

His gay boycott may be impractical:

I must now boycott Expedia as they advocate Sodomite Marriage and since almost every domestic airline advocates Sodomite Marriage, I must also boycott all the airlines.

I could drive on my next trip, but many oil companies provide domestic partner benefits and cannot buy gas.

I can't even walk to my next vacation as the companies that sold me my shoes offer domestic partner benefits.

Obama better stop having fun!

At no point should an American president in a time of war watch football or anything else on TV.

BLACK PANTHERS

We will never really know how many hundreds of thousands or millions of voters that the Black Panthers intimidated and prevented from voting in the 2008 Election.

he knows Christians easily avoid the premarital nookie:

Staying celibate until marriage is only impossible for the children of liberals and non Christians. In almost all cases, you will find that the children of conservatives and Christians remain virgins until they are marries.

Prosecute Obama!

Obama could also be prosecuted for the murder of every US service member who died following under his false command and he could also be prosecuted for the murder of every non American who died and the hands of US forces.

Obama ruins Jonnie from Happy Days

Joanie was doing great when Eisenhower was in the White House.

Now, under Obama she is homeless.

The end is nigh!

With Obama in power and World leaders meeting in New York along with the current droughts and gay marriage in may US states, we could be in our final hours.

I think that makes it all that more important that we all vote early.

Indeed, Uncle Slayton.

Godspeed.

It's Uncle Slayton Time!

The convention buzz seems super weak at the moment. Until they manage to remember what a monster Bill Clinton was, lets have a bit of fun.

I've been collecting Slayton's greatest hits since my last post on the guy. I'd say it's about reached critical mass:

Clint Eastwood's history:

Clint nailed it when he was lambasting President Empty Chair for not doing anything and called out Empy Chair for not calling the Russians before getting involved in Afghanistan.

Obama beergate:

We need to get a Special Prosecutor to determine if the beer brewed by Obama at the White House has ever been illegally sold, transported across state lines, served to minors, caused a drunk driving death or directly threatened sales of a domestic beer company.

If so, Obama will be prosecuted.

on that 'this is how we feed the animals' bit:

“What are you doing? Carroll said. “Are you out of your damned mind?”

It is obvious that Carroll was rude and insulted the two delegates you questioning their sanity and using the D-Word.

For that, Carroll should have been thrown out of the convention and not the GOP delegates who were simply defending themselves and exercising their Free Speech.

the horror of lesbian doctors:

Could you imagine being critically injured in a car crash only to be rushed to an Emergency Room, just to have a Leabian doctor work on you?

God hates shrimp!

Buras, where a great deal of Shellfish harvesting takes place had a 30 foot wall of water destroy the shrimp and and oyster boats.

New Orleans, where they were holding the Southern Decadence was destroyed by FLOOD and the Federal (Roe v. Wade) levees failed.

Biloxi where they have Gambling, prostitution, homosexuals and immodestly dressed women on the beaches was destroyed by the great waves.

Bill Nye the Science Guy:

Nye has spent years corrupting our youth and turning them away from their Christian faith and filling their heads with science mumbo jumbo.

He is guilty of Contributing to the Spiritual Delinquency of Minors.

College advice:

Parents should yank their kids out of any and all colleges that have students that protest Chick-Fil-A, have gay student unions or any gay students or staff.

It seems there would be no problem whatsoever finding colleges, with top notch accademic programs, that are not at all influenced by the Sodomites.

Rape and Pregnancy:

And it is Obama who failed to learn in science class that rape cannot result in pregnancy.

The Neil Armstrong Conundrum:

Obama will reject the wishes of the American people and Armstrong family or he will pander to their demands and exploit Armstrong for political purposes.

Slayton Time!

All I can say, is I feel inadequate. The man is a genius.

Endorsing every conspiracy theory Megadeath can think of:

I’m a bit surprised it has taken this long for the news about Obama’s planning of the Colorado and Sikh temple massacres was reported and taken seriously by the MSM.

Hopefully, now police agencies, maybe Sheriff Joe, will investigate Obama’s programming of these sleeper agents who have been used to murder innocents for Obama’s political purposes.

now we just need Dave Mustaine to get airtime on Fox News and other outlets to report his findings and maybe the Romney campaign can bring he and Megadeth on some campaign stops in Colorado, Wisconsin and other swing states.

Blaming Obama for the lack of rain:

Obama has brought us severe drought and the world starvation unlike anything that our world has seen in history. Only when he is out of office will our farmland see rains and only them will the children of Africa fill their bellies as they did prior to Obama seizing office.

Having perspective about the horrors the left has brought to us:

The attacks on Christians never seem to cease and continue from vandalizing Chick-Fil-A’s, to burning churches, killing Christians, forcing mosques in our Christian communities, imposing gay marriage in our cites and now eliminating discounts for Christians at a water park.

On health care:

at least for now, we are lucky to have a system of Private Insurance Companies none of which would ever make a cost benefit analysis on someone’s medical treatment and decide to stop treatment and cause a person to die.

Predicting the end of all the gay marriage states:

I think gay marriage, or something functionally equivalent to it is 1) inevitable 2) not the end of the world.”

Oh, yes it will be the end of the world as it we as a world civilization would not survive the onslaught of damnation if any government endorsed Sodomite Marriage.

Out nation would surely collapse and fall as it will soon do in New York, Mass, Connecticut, Iowa, New Hampshire and Vermont.

On Boy Scout anti-gay policies:

The Boy Scouts and Cub Scouts must remain pure with only members who are truly and actively heterosexual.

on military voting:

The fact is the matter is that in Ohio and every other state, military men should be able to vote before, on or even after election day.

I'm tempted to do more of these, but I worry a bit about exposing him. Luckily my readership is small, but still...

Uncle Slayton - Free Republic's own Humpty Dumpty

"When I use a word," Humpty Dumpty said in rather a scornful tone, "it means just what I choose it to mean -- neither more nor less."

Another 'special' Freeper I'm shocked I missed. He takes Humpty Dumpty a step further and applies it to reality as well as words. This guy's self-delusion is incredible.

He's the only Freeper to fall for an obviously doctored video of Obama, supposedly acting drunk.

Outrageous.
The video is almost two years old and MSM has been hiding the video all this time.

On Hoodies:

I think you may be underestimating the Power and the Fear of the Hoodie.

Having an odd definition of 'traces.'

Traces of marijuana could mean anything from several ounces to a couple hundred pounds. We just don’t know and the MSM is not helping.

On how Chelsea Clinton chose to be Clinton' daughter.

Sorry Chelsea, but you and Sandra Fluke both chose to be in the public spotlight and therefore are fair game for Rush Limbaugh to discuss and call sluts or dogs or whatever he wishes.

On putting abortion doctors on Wanted Posters, as compared to the New Black Panthers' attention-whoring:

The Wanted Posters published by the Pro Life Activists were intended to Protect Life of the Unborn, while the Wanted Posters published by Black Panther Terrorists were intended to cause harm or death to Capt. Zimmerman.

Of course he's a birther:

Good work!
Finally, someone has indisputable proof that Obama was in fact born in Kenya.

His theories about gas prices:

In August of 2008 gas was at $4.00 a gallon and then Sarah Palin demanded that we Drill Here Drill Now, and gas prices immediately dropped to $1.95 a gallon.

His idea to use racism in defense of Zimmerman:

“Black teenagers shoot black teenagers all the time.”
And Captain Zimmmeman knew that fact when he was apprehending Travon and if charged can use that as a defense.

Obama has many, many wars:

Gov. Haley is a victim of not only a partisan witch hunt or Obama, but a victim of the Obama War on women, Christians and people of Indian backgrounds.

His own views on women:

Repeal the 19th.

On how Treyvon's twitter posts deserve the death penalty:

Joe ignores the fact that Trayvon’s Thug Twitter posting had direct causation as to why Trayvon was out so late at night and likely give us insight as to why Trayvon was out that late wearing a hoodie.
Neighborhood Watch Captain Zimmerman was able to quickly identify Trayvon’s motives and acted to protect his body and property from a thug who Zimmerman determined was up to no good.

It's always "Captain Zimmerman" too. Weird.

His response to White Supremacists breaking into Trayvon's twitter account and changing the password to 'niggerniggernigger.'

Sorry, Trayvon Martin is dead and does not have privacy rights to to Internet accounts.

Previous Freeper Spotlights:

butterdezillion
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FFranco
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