Spotlight Friday Objective Scrutator

Objective Scrutator

I don't know. This vintage 2008 Freeper has a higher fallacy-to-crazy ration than most, but most of it is just this side of believable. Just when I think a comment is too over-the-top, he pulls out something that seems too quirky and horrible to be anything but totally sincere, if crazy.

His profile starts out with a quote that seems more like satire than reality: "Let’s keep conservatism and Christianity in America, and stamp out the liberals, secularists, Islamists, unionists, the lazy poor, and the rest of the undesirables that are ruining our country under the Dementocrats and ‘President’ Osama!"
But then he goes on for pages and pages of tiresome crazy that no troll would take the time to do.
But THEN there's a shopped Jack Chick tract that no one could believe, followed by stuff from the satire in Bioshock: Infinite.

In 2008, he had some really really crazy "God invented the Internet via Ted Stevens" stuff on Balloon Juice. He also had his own blog, "Calvinists 4 Conservatism" that is now locked. Which seems like a lot of effort to merely pretend to be a lunatic.

I just don't know. Here's his stuff, what do you think?

God, strike down Romney!

I’m hoping that Mitt Romney gets struck down by God after he wins the election, letting Paul Ryan become President. That’s the best case scenario for conservatives, the best case scenario for America, and the best case scenario for freedom.

All environmentalists secretly agree with some loon he found:

Oh, he’s not a good person by any means:

-believes that people should willingly kill themselves to “save the planet”
-wants a WWIII to cull the human population
-advocates eugenics
-supports the Holocaust, 9/11, the 2004 Madrid bombings, etc.

He’s basically like Fred Phelps. Almost everyone in the “environmentalist movement” secretly thinks like Linkola, but they don’t have the gonads to admit they do. Al Gore would find a lot in common with this guy if he were honest (although Gore believes in an exemption for himself, of course).

If the Democratic Convention were held in Mosul, America would be better.

They should hold their convention in Mosul, where their ISIS buddies are in charge. If the Democrats are not killed by ISIS, this proves to the morons of the world that Democrats are terrorists; if the Democrats are killed by ISIS, this proves to the morons of the world that the liberal policies of multiculturalism and appeasement do not work, and America will no longer have to suffer Democrats.

The Internet makes you liberal

Facts have a definite conservative bias, going by the definitions of “conservative” and “liberal”. Conservatives may not always be right, but liberals are always wrong. (This is because everything is political to liberals.)

The article’s thesis is definitely hogwash (liberals have pestered conservatives since Eve ate the apple), but one could reasonably argue that the Internet encourages impressionable teenagers to engage in stupid liberal behaviors.

Use of modern Internet tropes spotted:

If the liberals and libertarians had their way, there wouldn't BE a police force. HOW DARE YOU KILL SOMEONE TRYING TO KILL YOU HERP DERP

Rejoice at the death of known liberal Lauren Bacall, or else you're a troll.

I have no idea why people mourn the deaths of Muslims and Leftists who would happily see that our rights to life, liberty, and property are taken away. Probably Kos/DU trolls.

Keep up the imprecatory prayers, everyone

Let’s hope that the Hollywood liberals keep dying en masse; one less liberal means less money in the coffers of Communists. Keep up the imprecatory prayers, everyone!

Robin Williams too.

He’s not just a liberal, he was also a major financier of the criminal enterprise which steals and murders casually, the Democrat Party. As far as freedom loving people are concerned, America’s liberals are not dying quickly enough. The liberal media advertises his death because they want children to emulate him in committing suicide.

Quirky and horrible

I honestly wish that we could go back to the day where public atheists were stoned to death in the town square. If we kill a few public blasphemers, atheist bigots will probably be deterred from their attempts at persecuting Christians.

We need a liberal massacre.

Argentina needs its own Augusto Pinochet. Socialists can not be adequately be dealt with by democratic means.

the Soetoro Assassins

I’m always baffled as to why Hussein doesn’t just slip cyanide into the drinks of a conservative Supreme every now and then. It’s not like our cowardly Communist media would bother to blame the Soetoro Assassins, anyways.

Fire on antisemitic protesters.

By simply announcing their support for ISIS, I would say that the threat level of the scenario was sufficiently high enough to fire on the protesters.

Liberals pay minorities less than Whites.

Not even liberals can escape the workings of the free market.

If they can, liberals will ALWAYS attack you

The man who was attacked should have had a gun, and should have shot the illegal scum who were beating him up. You really do have to be a little slow in the head to put yourself in a scenario where liberals and illegals can attack you, because if they can get away with it they ALWAYS will.

Jesus was a capitalist

Jesus was a capitalist, and would have endorsed the Founder's revolt against the British. "Render unto Caesar what is Caesar's" is if anything a capitalist statement, precisely because the profits one makes off of one's labor and land do not belong to Caesar.

If you plan on citing Romans 13:1-2, please continue to read verse 3, which clarifies that the only valid governments are those which are "terrors to evil" (clearly, liberal/socialist governments would not be recognized as legitimate by Scripture).

Zimmerman

After all the crap Zimmerman’s faced, he should have every right to become a sovereign citizen. That he hasn’t yet should prove to naysayers just how much he loves his country.

Michael Brown

Democrats mourn Michael Brown just as they mourn the alleged passing of Osama bin Laden; they are sad that someone who worked so tirelessly to undermine America was finally killed. Brown’s corpse should be fed to farm animals as compost, not given a burial.

A great plan:

Perhaps the best way to reduce Leftist influence over our federal government is to encourage all the liberal demographics to move to one state, leaving conservatives with 98 senators.

Also, 'liberal demographics?' Hmmm...

Conservatives don't need speed limits.

You occasionally get the liberal teenager who thinks that 110 is an acceptable speed, but conservative drivers are better at determining reasonable speed than government is.

Scotsmen, by definition:

Conservatives, by definition, do not commit identity fraud. Liberal RINOs might, though.

The Founders:

The Founding Fathers wanted homosexuals to be put to death (Jefferson wanted castration). It’s a disgrace that we’re even having this discussion today.

From balloon-juice, he's at least a little pro-slavery too, so points for consistency!

But slavery to the government is bad:

The Democrats are an existential threat. The Democrat Party is unapologetically pro-murder; without the Democrats, several million unborn children would have experienced life. Additionally, the Democrats also promote slavery to the government, and will happily murder their political opponents if they think they can get away with it.

Foreign Policy:

If we had a competent President, we would be demanding that the cowardly British government pay reparations to the Foley family, as well as any other groups who were harmed by ISIS. We need to force the British to deal with their Muslim problem by any means necessary, as their tolerance of Islam causes American lives to be lost. I suggest that they start by firebombing their Muslim ghettos.

That being said, it is almost certain that Obama arranged for Foley to be executed, so ISIS is going to continue their killing spree while remaining unpunishes by the appeasers and Islamists who comprise the so-called “Western leaders”.

Union members should probably have no rights

I'm not really sure why union members are even allowed to have rights to life, liberty, and property, considering that they are eager to violently deny those very rights to their pragmatic betters.

And Democrats don't get the Second Amendment

I don’t think the Second Amendment should apply to registered Democrats. Look at who has caused every offensive shooting in the country, almost 100% of those were done by Democrats. The remainder was caused by other radical Leftist groups.