Tuesday, February 16, 2016

If Freepers were President...

anon1 found one of my favorite types of Freeper threads - the wish thread. Prediction threads lay bare Freepers' fear-haunted world, but there is also something to be said for Freepers discussing their aspirations.

And this thread delivers - it is fascinating!
First, because it doesn't get bogged down in Freepers' radical means, it dwells on their policy goals. And Freepers' goals, though radical, are not very different from actual elected Republicans.
The second thing is derivative of the first - the variation in this thread is not super large. In other words, GOP talking points work, even if the beast they've created is out of their control.

petercooper starts the thread off with a pretty good idea of the very nativist way these things are going.
Ok, I'll go first.

1. Build a wall.

2. Round up illegals/refugees.

3. Free ice cream for all (well not for them).
Even the joke is revised to be tribal!

EvilCapitalist is also nativist, and anti-Muslim. But he fit some vague BS about the Constitution in there as well!
1. Deport ALL muslims(even american converts) they’re the enemy within. And raze their mosques, and sow the grounds with pigs blood.
2. Deport all Illegal Aliens in our country, and build the wall to keep them out.
3. Repeal every unconstitutional executive order ever passed, and slash federal spending.
pgkdan is the same - first get rid of all the immigrants. Then war and small government!
I'd put a moratorium on immigration. ALL immigration, legal and illegal. That includes building the wall.

I'd take the shackles off our military and let them destroy ISIS.

Cut Federal Spending, eliminate the EPA, Dept. of Education,etc,,,
TalBlack too. Getting a bit repetitive here...
Shut the borders ie kick out illegals, ban Islamic immigration.

Slash taxes, ie Income, corp., death taxes.

Health care ie tort reform, interstate competition (booting illegals is a force multiplit here).

Three things isn’t enough really. America is a hell of a lot more broken Tha 3 thins will fix.
Lest you think the wall is anything more than a proxy for general hostility to immigrants, ataDude:
4. Build an unbreachable wall with mine fields (or alligators, snakes, etc.)along the entire southern border.

5. Enforce current immigration law... except propose to congress that all illegal crossings be felonies punishable by a minimum of five years in prison (contracted to Sheriff Joe for tents in the desert with bologna sandwiches and water). After serving sentences, deportation by ship (long trip, rough seas) to South America (or Antarctica).
Speaking of hostility, there was a minority like Netz whose first acts would be pure partisan spite:
Begin filing charges against former President Obama.

Begin filing charges against Hilliary Clinton.

Begin filing charges against former President Obama.
But generally you have vague but radical gestures in a nativist or small government direction dp0622
stop muslims from coming here.

slash and burn the budget and departments of etc.

build the wall.
Because who can't support unspecified 'cuts' to government?

cripplecreek manages to mix vague with repetitive:
Return government to its constitutionally mandated role.

Get government out of the way.

Leave people the hell alone.
IronJack wins the platitudes prize though:
#1: The economy.
#2: Downsizing government.
#3: Leadership -- in culture, morality, confidence, and law.
Wait. I spoke to soon. Actual occasional candidate for Congress EternalVigilance makes the talismanic tribalism pure:
1. The Constitution.

2. The Constitution.

3. The Constitution.

So, help me God.
EternalVigilance is so Constitutional he'd ignore the Supreme Court!
Ignore Supreme Court Justices when they opine immorally or unconstitutionally.
Like EV, bramps seems particularly unhappy with the Constitution:
Ban the Koran for blatant incitement to violence.

Promote legislation to encourage lasting marriage between one and one woman.

Cut off ALL benefits to anyone here illegally.
Like Trump, central_va is ignorant enough of modernity to roll mercantile:
1. Build wall
2. enforce immigration laws
3. Stop all work visas for 10 years
4. Put in place a 20% tariffs on imported manufactured goods
5. Use tariff income to reduce corporate taxes and income taxes.
swampfox101 manages to be more concrete:
Balance the budget

Round up, deport all illegals

Rid the US of the depts. of education, dept. of energy dept of EPA, dept of transportation, and dept of HHS.
Did I say Freepers mostly reflect the GOP here? Still true - abolishing all those agencies is Cruz's plan.

More repetition, but EQAndyBuzz adds the DoJ to the list, which is even more dumb than most.
Fire everyone in the Justice Department.
Fire everyone in the IRS.
Fire everyone in the EPA.

Then after breakfast........
If you've been noting how almost every Freeper wish list includes illegals, Balding_Eagle blames our lack of a wall for everything:
Build a wall, the following issues will begin to be resolved, in no particular order:


Better wages for us.


Stop terrorists from easily getting in

Emergency Services


Anchor babies

Social Security

Overcrowded schools

Less traffic congestion

Fewer auto accidents

Reduced drug running

More room in our jails and prisons

Fewer new diseases.

No more need of “Press 1 for English”
Then there are the outside the box thinkers like relictele, who plans to purposefully make government crappy and inflexible to convince people that smaller government is good:
1) If a law has not been duly passed, it isn’t a law no matter what it’s called.

2) Work for the repeal of many useless, oppressive, unconstitutional and unworkable laws.

3) Enforce the laws on the books regardless of pressure or media groups to demonstrate that government and freedom IS a zero sum game as opposed to economics.
Theophilus just wants radical change:
Article V Convention (bully pulpit, veto strangle hold)
End The Fed
Reduce the Cabinet by at least half. Annihilate their agencies and departments.
A surprising amount of audit the Fed BS showing up.

Another problem-solver, txhurl:
1. Use illegals (from all countries) and a bounty system to get them turning each other in.

2. Fire up Keystone and 9 other major infrastructure projects.

3. Hire back everybody zero fired in the military and let them choose 3 jerks each to fire.

All this on day one.
1) assumes no loyalty among illegals.
2) is legit, though when Obama did it it was pork.
3) advocates a radical spite-based military restructuring which is sure to keep things running smoothly.

redfreedom is also deep thinker, wishing for a return to World War II's industrial engine, but without any immigrants...
Bring the fed gov back into alignment with the Constitution starting with:

1. Strict border & immigration enforcement. Including, but not limited to, sealing off the southern border and sending back all illegals. Limiting legal immigration to a slow crawl.

2. Bringing American jobs back to America. We won WWII because of our industrial capacity. Should such a massive threat come to us now (and it’s almost here), we no longer have the industrial infrastructure or a young work force that even wants to work.

3. Shrink the fed gov. Get rid of rule creating parasites such as the EPA, that’s just one example. Give those powers back to the states.
Another contradiction is MaxFlint, who if you take 1) and 3) together seems to want a police state, but only for non-citizens:
1. Immigration shutdown, use every trick in the book to deport, block and hassle illegal immigrants and minimize legal immigration.

2. Abolish the TSA. Let airlines and airports handle security. This would assure my reelection.

3. End mass surveillance of American citizens.
mothball makes with the jokes, so you know killing Democrats shows up!
1-Deport illegals and liberals.
2-Executive order to euthanize Pelosi, Reid, Grayson, Durbin, etc.
3-Mandatory that businesses be closed on Sunday.Why not?

Now for those dogs who didn't bark. Issues Freepers get heated about, yet tellingly don't show up much when they're given a blank canvas.
dfwgator remembers the gays!
1. No Pooftahs
2. Build a Wall
3. No Pooftahs
catfish1957 is one of the few to mention Obamacare.
oops and

(7) Prod Congress to rescind the ACA,
Pollster1 manages Obamacare AND guns!
1. Repeal Obamacare, no replacement.

2. Secure the border and deport ALL illegals, with a permanent ban on re-entry for anyone deported, so they have an incentive to self-deport and we can save money.

3. Protect our individual, God-given right to keep and bear arms, by repealing as many federal gun laws as is politically feasible and prudent.
Ending with a return to the crazy, acw011 would reveal the REAL truth about UFOS and who killed Kennedy. And then start World War III
1. Alien File
2. Kennedy File
3. Bomb Saudi Arabia and most of the middle east

There’s a good reason I’m never going to be president.


  1. Replies
    1. Any guesses who MeanWestTexan is, being famous enough to have a Wikipedia entry, and the means to fight a rather expensive lawsuit?

  2. Promote legislation to encourage lasting marriage between one and one woman

    Typo, or support for lesbian marriage?

    3-Mandatory that businesses be closed on Sunday.Why not?

    The Establishment Clause of the First Amendment is why not, you queer-for-the-Constitution superpatriot dipshit.

  3. Worth noting that EternalVigilance is actually running for president. Again. http://www.tomhoefling.com/

  4. 1. Build the wall (which is estimated to cost $8 billion, and no, the Mexican government will not pay for it)
    2. Balance the budget.

    Something doesn't add up there.

  5. Why do all freepers seem to think pigs are some sort of Kryptonite to Muslims? Pigs blood in bullets, pigs blood on burnt mosques, coating things in bacon before dealing with Muslims....