California ragin'

Freeper Freedom_Is_Not_Free is a Bay Area native who moved from San Francisco to Sacramento, and seems not to be a huge fan of San Fran these days:

I was never so happy as when the moving van pulled up to 16th Avenue on December 1, 2007 and the movers loaded my stuff onto their truck, bound for the Sacramento valley.

By the time I finished my 12 years of hell living in the bay area, and 7 years of torture living in the San Francisco city limits, I was ready for scorched earth measures on the way out.
I swear, if it was neither sin nor crime, I would have put a torch to the entire city of San Francisco and just let it burn. I have a chilled bottle of champagne on hand I’m going to pop open after the 8.5 magnitude quake has wracked San Francisco. I’m going to sit in front of the TV sipping champagne and watching huge plumes of black smoke rise over the city as helicopters pan down on the shatter buildings, homes and streets.

Every time I see a gay parade flag laying amid the ruins or set fire to, I’m going to cheer.
Every time I see a smashed billboard of two faggots holding hands amid the smouldering ruins, I’m going to cheer.

Every times I see a crushed and twisted car with a bumper sticker “Obama” or “coexist” or “keep tahoe blue” or “save the whales” or “how can you trust me with a child if you can’t trust me with a choice”, I’m just going to go hoarse screaming words of approval.

Every time I see them interview another homeless yuppie scum from Pacific Heights wearing their Che Guevera shirts, I’m going to cheer and clap. 

Call me a heartless evil bastard but I’m going to tape all the coverage and watch it over and over every time my government puts the squeeze on me tighter from global warming, or Stormwater rules, or Smart growth or UN control, or higher taxes, or cutting my social security payments, or SCOTUS robbing me of my rights or banning my lone firearm that survived the canoe accident.

I’m going to watch. I’m going to smile. I’m going cheer. And I will have tears of joy re-living again the suffering and plight of those who inhabit that modern Sodom and Gomorrah.
I will see it as it is, the hand of God smiting the unrighteous and it will fill me with joy.

But that wasn't enough - seven minutes later, more fantasies of death and destruction to all who annoyed him boiled over again:

Every time they interview some head-to-toe tatooed, pierced,and dyed freak, I’m goign to cheer.

Every time I see a crushed Prius, I’m going to cheer.

Every time they interview a newly homeless San Franciscan, but they can’t because the interviewee can’t speak a single word of converstational English, I’m going to cheer.

Every time I see an anti-miliary sign strewn among the wreckage and smoldering waste, I’m going to cheer.

Every time I see the twisted remains of a black BMW, I’m going to cheer in honor of the scumulent asswipe that caused me so much stress by cutting me off and then immediately slamming on his brakes, that I clenched my teeth so hard I broke 2 teeth. He owes me $6,000 for bone grafts and implants, not that I can collect from a guy I’ll never know. But I will collect in my heart when I see the twisted wreckage of a mashed black BMW under a collapsed gay bath house, and I’ll dream it was he.

I feel like he could do this all day.

Bshaw objects, but not for the reason you think:

“Every time I see the twisted remains of a black BMW”

Whoa! I was with you every sentence until that one! That’s a broad brush you paint BMW driver’s with there Van Gogh!

But if it were to happen that you see a mangled and twisted BMW, be assured, the driver and passengers are far more likely to survive than with other makes.

"I loved your massacre fantasies until you dissed my car!"

Though Freedom_Is_Not_Free takes a rather different tone when defending why he stayed in Cali:

But you still live in the "people's republic of california"?

I left the hell of the bay area and live in a small conservative valley town about an hour north of Sacramento. I have a few years to retirement.

My mother is 80 years old and when she starts needed full time care, I’ll retire and provide it. I’m not putting here in a home. She may make it to 100, I don’t know. But as she is up their in age, I just don’t feel right leaving California when she might need me to care for her.

That’s the breaks.

Thank goodness for his caring nature and elderly Mom, or all of California would feel his keyboard channeled wrath!