Tuesday, May 31, 2016

Freeper fights

Via Anonymous.

Freepers discuss the last fight they were in. The thread is fun, but IMO not the usual Freeper level of crazy - it's got about the same proportion of tall tales, hazily self-aggrandizing memories, and complete lies that I've experienced whenever this subject comes up.

So what if it's more simple voyerism than the usual horrors we enjoy, it's fun!

You can tell they're Freeper stories because many, like JPX2011, mention the race:
Last fight for me was in 1995. The 10th grade. Mexican wannabe thug decided to try and jump me on the bus. I maneuvered out of the way, thew him onto the seat, and proceeded to pummel his face until the bus driver intervened. After that point the scrawny bespectacled white kid was known on the bus as “Rocky.”

Suspended for a week. It was worth it. Had no problem throughout the remainder of High school. Today, I would be expelled an arrested.
Badass mindburglar is still getting in fights, guys!
Yesterday. I learned I still got it...
Gun lovers like alloysteel are another Freep giveaway:
Old age is why God created reason.

Unreasonable people are why men created guns.

Don’t p*ss off an old guy.

He will just shoot you. End of fight.
A gun turned buckalfa's misunderstanding into a near death situation, haw haw!
At age 64 I reacted to a situation I thought was threatening to a neighbor. My temper took over and I touched the supposed perp who turned out to be the neighbor's 17 year old grandson. Long story short, the supposed perp's father (off duty deputy sheriff) was kind enough to withdraw his 9mm from my ear and assist me up off of the ground.
Now here's an old standby I've heard - real saxophonist's steely gaze is how he beat bullies:
In high school, a guy said he was going to beat me up after school. I said to him, right in front of teachers and everybody, why after school? How about RIGHT NOW? He just kinda went away, and never bothered me again. And I didn't care if he was a football player and I was a band geek, I was going to put him in the hospital if need be. And I think he knew that.
beware, Thorliveshere only looks wimpy!
College. A “friend” thought he could take me (he had a good 30 lbs. on me), and I held him in a position he couldn’t get out of. I learned that I’m not as weak as I think I am sometimes, and that people underestimate me.
ICCtheWay is a bit in the tall tales area, methinks:
Last fight - in a bar 12 years ago ... guy less than half my age ... smashed him with am elbow after he grabbed me from behind - then pummeled him - he was on the floor - I left.

Encounter with a young doctor who found out his G/F was messing with me while he was out of town... He slammed me from behind on a club dance floor ... Elbow to the face ... he was on the floor. I left.

Cocktail lounge - some guy jumped up yelling at me - because some gal told him I was a jerk (she was having hallucinations thinking I was her ex-husband)... While he was threatening me - I gave him two jabs to the face - he was on the floor ... I left.

I have never ever started a fight... But I learned how to end them
Popman suckerpunched some kid in middle school:
Last fight was in 5th or 6th grade when I went to new school...waiting for the school bus...

Kid called the girl I liked a name, I told him to take it back...

He said make me...

Three punches right to the face, he was on his butt and all the fight was out of him...

Little did he know my twin brother and I fought all the time...bare knuckle brawls...
cripplecreek knows every time is a good time to bash Muslims!
In the mideast its usually an angry wife who starts and finishes the fight.

There's no shortage of humility. I liked Ronin, mostly for the idiom he used:
Singapore, during my Navy days. I learned that my canary ass can’t cover the bets made by my alligator mouth when I have been drinking tequila. Which is why I no longer drink tequila.
Cap'n Crunch boasts how he's always super-aware, not like you guys!
During 30 years of law enforcement I have been in more fights that I can remember. I came into the job not knowing any martial arts and was relatively strong from lifting weights. In my first two fights I realized that strength was not enough, people on drugs and or mentally disturbed could be a real problem.

I ended up finding a judo school and went for 8 years. This helped me tremendously. I also studied some Korean karate, Sombo and Jiu Jitsu.

With all that said I know I am not the baddest man on the planet. I have learned a few things from these encounters.

First, my Judo instructor (who was also a police officer) used to tell us “Attack when attacked.” I used this principle throughout my career. Anybody crazy enough to attack you may be crazy enough to kill you.

I also subscribe to two other ‘maxims’ I learned from the military. SAS. Speed, Aggression and Surprise. And this gem: ‘Be polite, be professional but have a plan to kill everybody you meet.’ Thank you Marine Corps.

Use the color wheel police use: White: relaxed, no worries. I am rarely in this area. Yellow: heightened awareness (I’m usually here ALL the time. Orange: Something has caught your attention and you need to keep an eye on it. Red: Threat/threats.

Most people walk around in the “White” zone. Criminals look for this.
over the weekend clamper1797 just doing some MMA sparring, like ya do:
Sunday ... 50 years of traditional martial arts training beats 2 years of MMA training in a no rules fight every time.

Training session sparring
And in the complete lies category, you have tacticalogic
Wasn't exactly a fight, but it probably could have turned into one. Leaving a crowded bar, there's three guys down by the end of the bar to my left, two facing me and one in front of them with his back to me talking to the other two. All three are bigger than I am, but I'm only about 125 lbs. As I come up on them, one of the pair facing me looks at me and shoves the one with his back to me right into my path.

I reached out with my left hand, put 2 fingers into his back right next to a shoulder blade and pushed. He straighten right up and started cussing and moving trying to get away from it, so I just kind of swept my arm at the should to keep him moving away from me while I headed for the door. I threw a quick look at the other two as I passed and they backed away about a half step, like they didn't quite know what to make of that. I just kept going.
Complete and detailed explanation of each move he made? Yep, that's BS. A slightly different style of the same deal is usual suspect, who prefers to name the moves used, so you know it's official:
I was 49, some punk 1/2 my age tried to give me the “flying superman punch” sucker punch to my face. I got my Green belt in 1968 and managed to see him ‘flying” with my peripheral vision. Outward circular block and then I pummeled his face as he tried to take me down to the ground. I got tendonitis from hitting his face so many times. He got me on the ground, asked me a philosophical question “how’s that feel bitch”. I grabbed his neck with both hands, pulled his head down with all my might, rolled him over so all that was sticking out of the water was his nose, and pummeled him so hard that I had to be pulled off before I killed him...”effin bully.
After 39 years, I went back and got my Black belt in Tae Kwon do, took a year of Aikido, 9 months of Iaido.


  1. President Donald J. Trump
    President of the United States of America

    Ya'll are being juvenile.


    1. This is FREEPER Madness twinkles. The muskrat behatted one is only of interest insofar as he provokes the Cloaca Maxima into even greater paroxysms of bigotry, cowardice, ignorance, and xenophobia.

      If you just want to annoy "liberals" by talking about world ruling flatulence then try DU.

    2. DU bars anyone of my ilk on their "F"
      Word Forum. It should be called the
      "F" Word Forum, too.

      At least, ya'll's vocabulary is
      bigger than that asinine one over on
      we ain't a democracy, we ARE a

      Anyone who imagines they can fool the
      great unwashed on here with signing
      "Poopy Mu Mu Twinkie"; they're not
      only juvenile, they're senile.

      HA! This Windows 10 is getting to
      be obnoxious with all the pop-ups &
      the overlording & downloading W10 in
      the middle of the night on the sly.

      OK. Well, I'm cooking Fang chicken &
      dumplings for lunch. Sweet Sue brand,
      but not as good as homemade. - Get
      ya'll's selves some Martha White
      self-rising flour; mix it up with
      a little buttermilk & drop it in a
      pot of chicken broth. Add some bits
      of boiled chicken thigh meat. That's
      REAL chicken & dumplings.

      OK. I'm off topic. A NO-NO here on
      Freeper Beaters. Sorry. But not all
      THAT sorry.


    3. Oh yeah. You gotta boil the chicken
      broth before you drop the flour &
      milk mixture in while boiling.


    4. Oh. And drop the mixture in by the
      Tablespoon else you just get a huge
      gob of DUMPLING. You want sort of
      small dumplings.

    5. "we ain't a democracy, we ARE a
      REPUBLIC" First off, anything that isn't a hereditary monarchy is a republic. The USSR, as its name said, was a republic. Nazi Germany was a republic. Second, the definition of "democracy" in my American Heritage Dictionary of the English Language, 1976 edition, is "Government by the people, exercised either directly or through elected representatives." I swear, you Freeper idiots pick up these things and throw them around like you know what you're talking about, when all you do is expose your stupidity. But then, that's why you all gather at FR, right? To bask in your stupidity together.

    6. Well. U.S is NOT an hereditary monarchy; so I suppose according to
      YOUR definition, it's a republic.
      To quote YOU - "First off, anything
      that isn't a hereditary monarchy is a

      TWINKIE is NOT an idiot. I have not
      called any of ya'll an IDIOT.

      I don't "gather" at Free Republic;
      have a life outside internet &
      smarting off at people.


      Love, TWINKIE KING

    7. Snookums, it ain't MY definition of Republic. It's the dictionary's definition. Look it up. You do know how to do that, right?

      Actually, the Thucydides quote Ozy has at the top of this page is apropos: "Words had to change their ordinary meaning and to take that which was now given them." Freepers like to hold up "Republic" like it's some kabbalistic magical incantation, carrying great and mystical significance, when it's really something rather mundane in today's world. And they denigrate "democracy" as a dirty word, when it means that the actual people vote to determine their government. Of course, a characteristic of Freeperdom is a fury that people don't seem to vote in ways in which they approve.

      And while you're at it, you might be amused by discovering the definition of the word "Twink," too.

  2. Our American Putin!
    President Donald J. Trump!


    1. Oh yeah. And that is pronounced
      POOT-IN. Poor guy. He probably knows,
      but DOES NOT CARE, that his name is
      pronounced in a way that also means
      flatulence. - In Russia, it probably
      is "TRUMP".

      THE REAL TWINKIE (Dad gum it!)

    2. Wrong. Putin means "Man of the road" with the implication of "Traveller" or (more metaphorically) "Leader" via the implication of "Man who knows the way".

      Trump in Russian is "Perdet".

    3. The really old-timey way to make
      chicken & dumplings ya'll don't want
      to know as it is much more than the
      way TWINKIE told you today. It
      involves making the dumpling dough
      with Martha White self-rising flour
      & a little buttermilk AND a little
      chicken broth (from actually cooking
      a chicken by boiling it), then
      rolling out the dough on a dough
      board with a rolling pin. Then you
      cut out strips of dough from it.
      Be sure to put down a good bit of
      flour on your rolling surface.

      Sprinkle a bit of tarragon & about
      a teaspoon of powdered organic garlic, & about a third of a thing
      of organic BUTTER.

      Ya'll can use ya'll's imagination;
      but dropping the dough by the spoon-
      fuls into the boiling broth works
      just as well to me.

      I rubbed Cattbutt down with powdered
      garlic this morning. She fussed &
      tried to run away from me, but she
      knows it's for the best. She is a
      hunting cat, stays outside all the
      time & hauls in ticks, fleas &

      Good luck making dumplings.

  3. Wouldn't it be startling if just once they started a thread titled "When was the last time you helped someone?" instead of "When was the last time you kicked someone's ass?"

    1. Knowing FR, it would be "I helped my libtard son by throwing him out of the house and never speaking to him again" or, "I helped a blind beggar by kicking him and telling him to get a job."

    2. Well they help out Jim all the time by paying for his meals at Olive Garden.

    3. Don't ya'll help Oz finance this
      "Freeper Madness" blog?

      If not; ya'll should share in the

      Why would ya'll begrudge Oz having
      a meal at Olive Garden?


    4. Word press is free hosting twinkie, although I'm sure the back woods persona you like to portray has no idea what that means.

    5. I is what I is. Do not know what
      "word press" is from Adam's housecat!
      Still, ya'll ought to chip in & send
      Oz a coupon for dinner out. This
      stuff eats up his/her time & is a
      considerable amount of work just
      monitoring all of our wrangling &
      arguing & keeping us from writing
      some cuss words or something. - I
      never heard of "word press". I AM a
      backwoods persona who lives on a
      river way back on a dead-end road &
      that's the truth.

      So, come on & let us chip in on Pay
      Pal (now I do know what that is).
      Fang sells on ebay & does Pay Pal.
      As maligned as TWINKIE is on this
      parsimonious site; I will chip in on
      Pay Pal & donate something to Oz for
      his/her dinner out.

      Ya'll handle it & I'll do my part.


    6. Thing is? He doesn't moderate. He let's it flow as a free discussion. Unlike "Free" Republic and JimRob.

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