Wednesday, January 9, 2013

Freepers on Starbucks

Another one from the weekend of Anonymous:

isn't too political. Indeed, this is more of a "Freepers - they're just like us!" post. Freepers are faaar too cool for Starbucks, in a hilariously cliched way:

Gaffer explains that Starbucks sells all this non-coffee stuff that people like for some reason:
I think many SB aficionados subconsciously gussy up their acid with sprinkles, Cinnamon, latte (weak milk), steam, whateverthehell else will dilute the acid, and end up with something they think is great. They get the privilege of paying 5-7 bucks for it, to boot.
CatherineofAragon has such contempt for the Starbucks people:
Here in conservative central Virginia, it looks like the entire liberal/Northeastern transplant population in this area congregates at Starbucks. They all look like pseudo-intellectual leftwingers, right down to the skinny wirerim-bespectacled men with scarves looped jauntily (and might I say, queerly) around their necks. They prominently carry their Starbucks cups, thinking it’s fashionable to be seen toting the logo.

Personally, I think Starbucks coffee is awful. It’s not so much strong as it is burned and bitter. I love strong coffee——my husband brews up some powerful Dunkin Donuts that’s delicious, without a hint of bitterness. But Starbucks seems to be all about the image, not the coffee.
Chickensoup gives us some pop-sociology:
Starbucks sells more than coffee. Starbucks sells pseudo-relationshps. People who work at Starbucks are chosen for their people skills and interesting qualities. Customers get to know the associates and over time form bonds that encourage the customer's to come back again and again. Most baristas have a fan base.

In this relationship-hungry society, this works and works well. I saw this in action when having a few meals with my barista relative in the city she works in. No matter where she went, Starbuck customers stop at her table to “catch up” to say hello, to check in and introduce the wife or husband to her, to ask her when she will be on next and so on. Not just one time each meal. It was a constant.

Starbucks baristas get asked home for Christmas dinner with families, and occasionally to the beach with a needy mother. They do not go, and some are puzzled at the fervor of their customers.

Most of the baristas would not phrase it this way, but they are actors. They offer a illusion of friendship in a friendship-hungry world.
Baynative is another who shakes his fist every time he walks by one:
I can't stand the atmosphere in Starbucks, the waiting in line and the arrogant attitude of the cultists ordering their special drinks with details longer than the preamble to the constitution. It's like they're pledging allegiance to some sort of coffee bean deity. Subsequently, I haven't been in one since the late 90's.

However, there are two markets I shop at that have Starbucks franchises in them. When ever I pass that area of the store my dislike for the cultists is reaffirmed. The people with silly clothes and dreadlock hair that come to sit there with their laptops in some sort of pompous show of superiority creeps me out.
Resolute Conservative totally freaked out the squares with his chewing tobacco one time in Starbucks!
God Bless my wife she loves them. She and I were out the other day and I knew she was going to want to stop in, so I took a chaw. It was moderately crowded and we went in and while standing in line I asked for an empty cup. When the man (and I use that term loosely) behind the counter handed me one I spit in it and put it in the trash can. I tickled myself and started a low chuckle and went outside. My wife came out, after waiting for her swill about the same amount of time I can order a hamburger, and just looked at me and said, “there is something wrong with you.”
lucky american is mystified by the free market:
There isn’t a cup of coffee worth 7 bucks.
There isn’t a pair of high heels worth 500 bucks.
There isn’t a handbag worth 1000 bucks.
There isn’t a dress worth 5000 bucks.
Unless these items are encrusted with jewels.
It has to be a cult.
dennisw knows only girls like Starbucks:
The rise of Starbucks and other foo-foo food and retail outlets signal brain rot and the feminization of the economy and society. Less production oriented and more consumption oriented. Complete with female heroine movies, the epitome being “Hunger Games”
fattigermaster is far too hip for Starbucks these days:
I think I’ve darkened the threshold of a Starbuck’s a half dozen times; my last visit was in 2000.

After waiting in line twelve minutes, I had the pleasure of arguing with a fetus behind the counter exactly how an “espresso americano” was made, did not get what I ordered, and was overcharged.

I’d rather pay a hobo to make me coffee in a soup can over a buffalo chip bonfire.
sheana went to Starbucks once, but only ironically.
Hubby and I went to a restaurant that was full where they give you a pager that beeps when it is your turn. Next door was a Starbucks so we got a cup of overpriced coffee and sat outside and laughed at all the pretentious idiots going in and out until our pager beeped.
Only time I have ever been to a Starbucks.

6 comments:

  1. "You darn kids! Get off my lawn!"

    ReplyDelete
  2. Maybe a spotlight on Resolute Conservative. He really is a resolute conservative; Loves guns, big trucks, petty douchebaggery and Jesus, but he hates uppity women, "sodomites" and the Clintons.

    He's an ex-cop, and probably ex-military too. He's waiting for the second civil war, but he's waiting at home because he doesn't want to interact with all the libs in public.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Here's an awesome one: Kid loses Lego figure, writes company cute letter asking for replacement, Lego sends even cuter letter back with replacement. Freeper response: The kid is being trained to expect handouts for his own personal failings.


    http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-chat/2976390/posts

    ReplyDelete
  4. One of the guys that helps run the FPSRussia YouTube channel was killed by a head shot wound. Freepers leap, jump, and fly to crazy conclusions:

    http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/2976489/posts

    ReplyDelete
  5. These anti-Starbucks diatribes are suspiciously well-written. I don't think I have ever seen such consistently good writing on Free Republic.

    Oooh, let's start a conspiracy theory of our own!

    ReplyDelete
  6. Think sheana feels pretentious sitting there with her pager?

    ReplyDelete