Friday, September 28, 2012

And Now This Word from Outer Space

Cracker-Jack Romney Ad edition:
An idea I had for an Orwellian, 1984-Esque, Anti-Obama ad.
A dilapidated, dingy room is filled with sitting media correspondents wearing gray uniforms; only an Obama symbol, atop of their notepads resting upon their locked knees, gleams with color. The hypnotized journalists are transfixed upon a giant, flickering, black and white screen; the words “Forward” and “Obey” routinely interchange with an Obama symbol marking each “O”. Obama’s face, stoic and ominous, fades to the foreground.
Obama: America…is better off than it was four years ago.
An Obama symbol, slowly transposing over the stars of the American flag, begins to block out images of the poor and homeless, business closings, as well as scenes of urban blight and violence.
Obama: You…(intermittent images of our forefathers, the Industrial Revolution, and our flag raised at Iwo Jima, appear)…did not build this!
The pictures quickly burn away until Obama’s face resurfaces.
Obama: I…will not fail!
The menacing image of Obama begins to distort and flicker as bright, colorful graphs of unemployment, national debt, food stamp usage, gas prices, and home foreclosures emerge in secession.
Obama: (incensed) Forward!
The graphs repeat at frightening pace – casting shows on the faces of the now disturbed media – until the screen goes blank and the room pitch black.
Orwellian Voice: (echoing) During a time of universal deceit, telling the truth becomes a revolutionary act.
(Silence)
A blinking prompt materializes at the bottom of the screen. The stunned reporters turn to one another, before looking back to the front. The words “Attempting To Reload Constitution” appear before the blinking prompt.
BEDROOM
A teenage boy clicks off the TV with the remote. After hesitating in brief reflection, he opens a history book to a chapter entitled, “The Constitution: The Greatest Document Ever Conceived”.
Reading: “We the people, in order to form a more perfect union….”
A bookmark with an Obama symbol tumbles to the floor.
Assuming voters are all Freepers brought to you by xuberalles

17 comments:

  1. Man, that is awesome.

    By the way, did you see that Rome2000 found this blog and commented on it?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Where is our troll? Has he just gotten lazy? I LOVE that guy.

      Delete
    2. Which one ? There were two of them. One was either an absolutely vile racist or possibly a troll who actually succeeded in offending everybody, the other was a cheap rorschach knockoff.

      Delete
    3. The guy that was using the name dolce and gabbana.

      His racism seemed pretty sincere, but maybe he was a really good troll. In retrospect, he probably was a troll because no serious person would use the handle D&G while ranting about homosexuals.

      Delete
    4. D&G could easily have been a woman...

      Delete
  2. Excellent work by Deutchland Uber Alles, I mean, xuberalles.

    ReplyDelete
  3. The 'beautiful' family slain by father tormented by the prospect of Obama winning the election'
    http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/2937435/posts

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I wonder what his handle on Free Republic was.

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    2. "It was bad enough in the 1990s when I caught myself encountering an internal 'political correctness' censor trying to match the proper phrasing of things in public (mailperson et al)."


      I imagine so. Freepers might be shy about calling the President of the United States something like the "Kenyan Usperer" when talking to the mailman.

      Why be shy, Freepers? Let your freak flag fly! Go into work and tell everyone the Freeper party line! Do it! Rock out with your nuts out!

      Get out of the closet! Tell the world what you feel!

      Delete
  4. My dream is for a George Soros funded PAC to start airing commercials written by Freepers.

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  5. its amazing how many freepers daydream possible tv ad scripts; its almost its own genre at this point

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  6. Honestly, if I win the lottery I would love to give these guys a production budget. I know Red Dawn is already being remade, but I need to see a freeper scripted version.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Let's have the best of both worlds. Let's put together a crowd funding proposal cum a 'The Producers" scam and run with it. Start off with the basic memes of the knuckle dragging snake handlers - Obama's lack of citizenship, Holder's goal of citizen disarmament, Michelle O. as the spawn of a Wookie, etc.

      Hit their debit cards for all they're worth and light out for the territories; it's the American Way...

      Delete
    2. cptnspldng, I'm in. Let's do it. ;)

      Delete
  7. I think Apples gonna sue somebody.

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  8. A <a href="http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-chat/2938040/posts>short thread on jazz</a> yields this gem from hosepipe:

    WRONG.. Classical and Classical Crossover is KIng and Queen...
    Jazz is just a nuance of Blues and the base of PoP..

    RAP is not even music.. it is posturing by people with no musical talent..
    FAKE music or PoP Propaganda.. or even Junk Agitprop..

    Classical is the King of Music.. the more you hate Classical the more APE-like you are..

    Eventially degrading to RAP and acting like an APE..
    thinking like an Ape, some even walking like APES..

    The emotions, tone, demeanor, and harmony of Classical is wide and deep.. and Classical Cross-over is like a “Sigh”.. or glance of the eyes.. Classical and Classical-Crossover is like two genres dancing sometimes romantic sometimes brisk and lively..

    Jazz is a Princess and Blues a Prince both learning to be potty trained.. a good wipe and their good as new..

    PoP vomits quite often and RAP pisses on the TV..

    ReplyDelete
  9. "I hadn’t considered Obama had had rhinoplasty, but it’s pretty obvious he has had very well done nose work. If not, his nose would have spread half way across his face by now..."
    http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/2938154/posts?page=15#15

    ReplyDelete